secret lives
our neighbor isn’t loud, well, not particularly loud, but maybe our walls are just thin. we never hear anything scandalous, maybe kathy does when she’s working in her office area (which just means the table next to the fridge). she tells me that he always brings girls home late and then leaves in the morning before they do. i don’t think i’ve ever actually seen what he looks like. anyway, my room is on the adjoining side of the apartment and i can hear murmurs through the wall when i turn my music off. is that word really just mur repeated twice? someone told me that that’s what extras say in movies when they’re filming a crowd scene: murmurmurmurmurmur or was it mumblemumble…anyway. last night, when i was tucking myself into bed and had turned off my music i heard some murmblings (he had a girl over). normally if i hear these i just put my earphones on and pass out, but last night i was just finishing a glass of water and i totally tried that glass to the wall trick. it was pretty cool, or maybe i am a dork, but you never really think those things work and when they do it’s like you just did magic.
i couldn’t really hear anything exciting, it clarified the voices but also diminished the volume so i went to sleep, but i felt like such a creep. hahaha no not really because i love spying or at least pretending like i am one.
makes you wonder, though doesn’t it? i mean, about the millions of people out there….i mean billions…and think of how many people you pass everyday. you know, well i know, when i’m walking i look at people and judge them. i can’t help it. but i do always wonder what how people are judging me. it’s kind of like wondering what people say about you behind your back or what people who don’t really know you say about you. except i’m wondering what they are wondering about me.
or maybe they don’t wonder about me. i wonder if i piss some people off just by being there. you know how you see someone and automatically you’re like ‘ooh, we would NOT be friends’ in your head and you don’t even know them. sometimes you come home and you tell whoever is at home about your day and the people you passed; aren’t you curious about how many people are telling the people in their homes about that girl they passed today who seemed like such a bitch and it was you? it can be a kind of disconcerting thing to wonder, like when one thinks too much about gravity.
aha! the neighbor just came home. it is funny because i always wonder how much he hears of us. i think we are strange people to overhear, especially tonight when a good part of it was spent standing at the sink playing with dry ice in water and oohing over it like five year-olds.
anyway, this one goes out to jess because she asked me if i was going to post about it and i said i was, plus it kind of goes with my ramblings. you know. secrets. other lives. i dunno. when i was little i felt guilty about listening to it because it was about such a bad thing, but it was such a good song! it made for a very torn third grader; how COULD something so wrong be so right?
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